Raw Novocain
by Deidara-Danna-sama
Summary: It's the Boss' birthday and the night calls for some fun. But a sudden excursion and some serious talk with her second in command has the Boss doing some serious thinking about the "what ifs" in life. What happens when those what ifs are thrown to the wind for one night?


**A/N: **Well I had a hard time deciding to make this a standalone or a prequel, but this will be a prequel…when I actually post the other story(laziness). Set 5 years after the ending of Saints Row 2, but a year before the beginning of Saints Row 3. I was debating on if I should put this up first or second, since the other story will take longer to write and I was done with this much faster. But. Oh well. I couldn't help it.

I mean, I've read a few Saints Row fan fictions…some of those are straight up sappy I'm not gonna lie. So I tried to avoid that here. But I was literally writing this for the heck of it, I always kind of shipped Boss x Johnny in my head, but I never actually wrote about it before though. Johnny Gat will always be my favorite…it just sucks ass that he had to die in SR3. Part of this will be told from Andreaya's POV.

Fem Boss x Johnny Gat, language, sex, death foreshadowing, M-rated. Be cool bro. Do the aforementioned things offend you? Hit the back button. -ONESHOT-

**Summary: **It's the Boss' birthday and the night calls for some fun. But a sudden excursion and some serious talk with her second in command has the Boss doing some serious thinking about the "what ifs" in life. What happens when those what ifs are thrown to the wind for one night?

* * *

**-Raw Novocain-**

* * *

Green-hazel eyes narrowed sardonically at the streamers, the merry toasting, the deafening hip-hop blasting out the stereo, the balloons and the giant cake in front of her. Everything in a bright purple. She was surrounded by purple clad hoodlums, her gang, all toasting and waving beer bottles in the air merrily. The party had barely even started and some of them were piss drunk already.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY BOSS!"

Their' voices reverberated off the walls, and for a second she thought one of the ceiling lights had shook.

The crew was really doing it up this year because, now their Boss was totally legal. Honestly, who would've thought that the mastermind and fearless leader of a gang was only 16 when she took the reigns? Who would have fathomed this 16 year old taking out the chief executive of Ultor and then merging their company with the Saints?

Nobody would have thought she could, but she did. A 16 year old took control of a multimillion dollar industry and made it her own. But she's not that young girl anymore.

On the contrary.

There she was, sitting pretty with a Farrah Fawcett do, her rich dark hair gleaming from its expensive styling. A studded, cropped leather corset top pushing her plump C cups to greet the world, and with extra convincing from Shaundi, an Aztec print miniskirt and black gladiator heels. A few gold rings glinted on her slender fingers, a spiked gold necklace and a gold cuff on her left wrist. Yeah, she was against the whole looking girly shit but Shaundi was adamant about her looking feminine for one day. Andreaya was glad she listened.

Turning 21 had never looked so sexy.

She was sitting calmly on the all white sofa, her matured features and brown-sugar scented skin illuminated under the bright lights. It was a good idea to host the party within the Purgatory since it had finally been remodeled. Besides should any bullshit pop off, there were Saints all over the place, outside and inside.

Flanking her sides were her lieutenants; the short brunette Shaundi who had done away with the dreads she always wore and was now keeping her hair in a tight ponytail. She was looking good after toning down on her old habits of partying and drinking so much. She had toned up too. Her petite frame was masked in a tight black minidress, and studded bright purple pumps.

Pierce was beside her, he cleaned up very nicely in a suit. He stopped the whole thug façade after the merger of Saints/Ultor corp. Nowadays he was sporting a trimmed goatee and he had lost a bit of weight, but bulked up in more muscle.

Then there was Johnny, on Andreaya's right side as he had always been flashing her a cool smirk and raised his beer in a toast as well. Johnny stayed strictly casual in a custom-made leather Saints jacket, a white tee and some jeans. He had started getting spray tans since she always joked about how pale he was. But that only made him look like a Guido, and would you believe how many females were throwing their panties at him now?

Too fucking many.

"About damn time we can start taking your ass to the bar and stop sneaking you drinks."

Andreaya cracked a broad grin, her eyes alight with a mischievous sparkle. "I don't see why you're complaining now, you're the one that first introduced me to liquor in the first place."

Johnny laughed, taking a quick swig of beer. "Be happy I did. You're less of a lightweight than you were back then."

Shaundi giggled and wrapped her arms around Andreaya's neck in a warm hug. "Does this mean I can take you out for pot brownies and a couple trees? I figure you won't pass out like that time you got abducted by the General."

Andreaya crinkled her nose, "Don't remind me about that." That particular experience was the worst time she had ever been so high. Not only was she baked as hell, the damn hideout was under attack by those jolly green Sons of Samedi and she had to help defend it.

Her aim wasn't worth a shit that day (she shot at anything and everything that even looked like it moved) and then she passed out with the munchies.

Pierce shook his head, "Shit, girl, I ain't trying to remember that either. Blood all over the damn place, bodies everywhere, them bright green ass shirts." He popped the lid of his beer, "Do you know how long it took to get all them bodies out the parking lot?"

It actually took two days to get them all out of there. The garbage trucks refused to lend a hand.

"I think the smell was a lot worse." Shaundi piped, crossing her legs and swirling the beer around in her cup with a free hand.

Andreaya scowled, "No, the fucking extra bloodstains they got on the new carpeting down here was the worst." Convincing carpet cleaners to come out to clean a gang hideout wasn't the easiest thing the world. Not to mention they charged an extra $100 for each hour they ended up having to stay.

A quick whistle from the top the stairs directing all attention to one Saint swaying in his stance. "The hoes is here!" He slurred heavily attempting to point in the direction of a cluster of strippers and instead falling backwards down the first set of stairs.

The entire room burst out in laughter, even the strippers were giggling but only one or two tried to actually see if he was alright.

Andreaya nudged her lieutenant with her shoulder. "So, who can work a pole better? The strippers or you?" Her full lips curved into a smirk at the half-smile on Shaundi's pretty face.

Shaundi looked at her incredulously her green eyes narrowing, "If this is a bet, wait til after my fifth drink."

Andreaya grinned raising her beer bottle to her lips, "Bet."

* * *

Four hours later, its hard to say what the hell actually happened from there.

Pierce had long since abandoned the sofa to flirt with a few strippers, and mostly brag about his successes as a Saints lieutenant. There were only like four of them anyways, and they were mostly inquiring about the money he makes. Guess he didn't mind considering he brags so much.

Not entirely sure if it worked or not, but whatever floats his boat I suppose.

As for that bet I made with Shaundi, oh she won. She totally showed her ass.

Literally.

It took three bottles of beer and two vodka crans on the rocks, but she kicked off those heels with the quickness and actually slapped one of the strippers off the pole. I mean she's my girl and all but damn, she can get down. Never seen a white chick that can twerk like that. In fact I never seen one do that period.

I also had no damn idea she was that flexible.

The boys have gone ape shit; between the drinks, the bitches and the music, shit got wild pretty fast. The only ones actually being calm around here are me and Johnny.

He hadn't abandoned my side on the sofa except one time to go to the restroom, though I discreetly glanced at him and could tell he was actually drunk. Johnny gets quiet after one too many drinks. He had been requesting stronger and stronger drinks since two hours ago. I think the last thing I saw him with was a lime Bacardi…I stopped keeping track after the 5th one he got.

I had a light buzz myself from 3 shots of vodka and two beers…a nice tall cup of cognac fixed that real quick though. Three shots of that and a Henny chaser later, the world was moving in slow motion. I aimlessly stared into the swaying masses of bodies and damn near flipped my shit at the familiar face smiling back at me. I blinked and it was gone.

It looked like Carlos. I exhaled slowly through my nose to calm myself. I had to get the fuck out of here.

I don't why but its just every time I start drinking, that opens up my old chest of inner demons. They love to come out when I'm not sober, because unless I'm sober that's the only way they stay in check. All my raw emotions. Its rare that you see anything from me outside of anger, amusement or me being calm. Its always one of the three. Sadness, guilt and those other things, I can't deal with them. I refuse to.

Its probably not healthy at all, in fact I know its not. But its just one of those things that can't be stomached and sorted out in one go. There's simply too much to handle.

And right now, this party felt so empty though it was filled with people. There could have been more. Aisha. Lin. Carlos. I wanted everyone to be here. More of my friends. But the lifestyle that I live, only brings harm to those I try to protect.

_More casualties. _

At some point, someone, some-fucking-where yelled loud enough, "YA'LL NIGGAS DRANK ALL THE BEER!" but I mean fuck, the whole fucking place is filled with drunks, you really think anyone was listening?

But yeah, I was, and let's face it; its hot as hell down here, every other male Saint I see is sparing long glances at my tits, and a breath of fresh air would be so fucking swell right now. Its also the perfect half-assed excuse to be alone with my thoughts for a minute before they get the better of me.

Nobody needs to see me having a breakdown.

I half-wobbled to my feet; these heels were making me clumsy, before a warm hand gripped my wrist. I casually looked back, though for like a hot moment I think my eyes had crossed without my knowing. "Yeah, man?"

"Fuck you goin'?"

I squinted a bit at Johnny's face, it kinda looked like he sprouted a second head or a twin or some shit. "Gonna run to the store, y'know? We need more drinks…" I trailed off, my thought process semi-incomplete since the alcohol was taking its course.

He still hadn't released his hold on my wrist, he downed the last of his drink and I caught the serious stare in his eyes through his tinted glasses. "I'll come with you."

"Nah, just stay here and-"

"Fuck. No."

He stood up tossing his empty cup somewhere, producing a pair of car keys out of his pocket and smirked. "Besides, your drunk ass don't need to be driving." He teasingly waved the keys in my face, I tried grabbing for them but I think I hallucinated and grabbed the wrong one. Which was nothing.

"You're one to fucking talk, Gat." I spat out, I was kinda feeling a foreign wedgie in my ass but I forgot. I wore a thong today. No adjustments needed.

"Oh, now it's just Gat?"

"Yup."

I flounced away, or at least I think I did since I damn near tripped over my own two feet and fell on my ass. These shoes were such a bad idea. I vaguely thought of telling Shaundi that I'd be stepping out for a moment, but she was on the pole still getting rained on with 20, 50 and 100 dollar bills. She wouldn't notice I left. I started to call for Pierce, but I mean, his ass wouldn't really be listening anyways so forget that too.

Johnny was in front of me somehow, muttering something about me being a drunk ass and half-dragged me upstairs and to the elevator. Oh that shit felt so damn weird, my stomach did a somersault by the time we reached the top floor and were staring into the parking lot. It cooled down a bit outside, the stars were coming out and the sky was streaked with orange and mauve.

Johnny led me to his car, a sleek purple attrazione with the light purple tinted windows and the all white interior. Johnny never really invested much into sports cars but like I said after the Sons of Samedi rolled up on the hideout, his old Venom ended up being one of the casualties. Blown clean the hell up.

I damn near bumped my head on the roof of the car getting in, and I half glared at him because I heard that dry snicker escape his mouth. "Shut up. Not funny."

He spared a quick glance at me, igniting the engine and rolling down the windows a little. "Shit, and your ass thought you'd be driving though?" He snorted, "You can't hold your liquor worth a damn."

I turned my head around a little too quickly, I was going to glare at his ass but everything started spinning so I scowled and remained silent. But to an extent it was true. I can hold my goddamn liquor but Johnny was one of the elusive few people with the gift of being a coherent drunk. I'd seen plenty of instances of where he'd be totally wasted and functioning as normal as ever, aside the mild slur in his speech.

So maybe he was more fit to drive. Whatever.

We pulled off, out the parking lot and down the street, it was only until we reached the intersection at the bridge connecting downtown that I realized…

"W-wait…the party store was back there…" I glanced over my shoulder like some little kid who just saw something confusing, "Or are we going to the one in Shivington?" They had repaired Shivington since that I time burned it to all high hell…doesn't mean it looked any nicer though once the bums and the hookers went back to it.

He didn't answer me and the moment the light turned green, we were already heading up the incline and were coasting across the bridge. The breeze whipping my hair felt good, and I figured Johnny had his reasons so I said fuck it.

He ran through 3 red lights, weaving through traffic and for once I'm so damn surprised not a single cop saw this or was tailing us. Shit, maybe I would've been better off driving after all.

We passed the underground mall, the penthouse hideaway, and a Freckle Bitch's, and I vainly squinted ahead at the little neat rows of houses in the distances. We were in the suburbs area?

The fuck for?

I realized this was Quinbecca, the property over here was always so nice. Okay so maybe he wanted to go to a nicer store or whatever. Ok, I guess, why the fuck not?

I was in a bit of a daze, the houses and trees that we passed by melded into a psychodelic blur, before I finally realized the car had stopped moving. We were at a house…his house. I'd forgotten he had relocated after Aisha's death, I don't blame him. Staying at her place held too many old ghosts. His house was the last one in the cul-de-sac, a little two story place that had the view of the ocean in the distance.

"Out."

His voice snapped me out of my reverie and I absent-mindedly exited the car, leaning against the door the moment it closed. The buzz was still running strong in my veins and I honestly didn't want to trip and fall in some lame fashion in front of Johnny.

He'd never let me live it down.

A quick slam of the car door, and he was by side again, this time with a pack of cigarettes he got from God knows where. He lit one, taking a drag before exhaling the smoke out into the air. He said nothing.

I looked at him curiously, well I tried to look since everything was blurring a bit; either something was up or he just needed to lay down somewhere. "Johnny?" I frowned, he still wasn't saying anything. "Johnny…what's up with you? What're we-"

"You look good today." He interjected suddenly, still not looking my way.

I blinked, taken entirely off guard by the compliment and the smoothness of his tone when he said it. Johnny never told me things like that before. Ever. He mostly teased me when we first met, I was pretty goddamn scrawny when I joined the gang. Puberty hit me late too, it wasn't until I was 17 that I finally started growing into my figure and even then he'd tease and say I might finally get laid one day.

But I wasn't understanding what he was getting at.

His face looked kind of solemn, like he was thinking about something heavy. There was at least an arm's space between us, I got bold and sidled closer to him. If he noticed that I just closed the proximity between us, he obviously didn't care.

"Johnny….what are you thinking about?"

He breathed a drawn out sigh. "Where…where do you think we'd be if we took the high road in life?" He tapped the cigarette, a few ashes falling to the ground. "Like…not being in the gang or any of that. Where would we be right now?"

I snorted with a smug smirk, "Office work doesn't really seem like something you'd be into. I'd probably have joined a gang regardless." I looked to the skies like some answer was magically going to drop from them. "Its…its all I know. The money, the killings, everything that comes with the turf…its all I know."

_All I ever wanted_.

He shook his head. "Is that all its really about anymore?" He sounded sort of hopeless. "Is that really all there is to life anymore?"

I gave him a reprimanding look, the alcohol in my system riling me up, "Fuck you say? You're making it sound like you wanna quit the gang, Gat."

"Oh, no, never that." He replied in a monotone.

I bristled and clenched my fists, growing very weary of his riddle game he was making me play. I was already getting annoyed and he was going to make me punch the fuck out of him. "The fuck is it then? Whatever you've gotta say just come out and say it already!"

He paused tentatively, taking a brief drag on the cigarette and exhaled the smoke through his nose. "I dunno…its hard to say, but…what if I told you I don't think I'll make it into next year?"

My left eye twitched and the air felt like it just froze over. "What're you saying?"

"Drea'…I'm having real fucked up dreams at night nowadays. Surreal as fuck. And one way or another I end up dead." He discarded the cigarette butt somewhere on the pavement and shoved his hands in his pockets. "Its depressing as hell…but its making me wonder cuz' its gets more and more real each time."

"Johnny…t-those are just dreams…they don't mean anything. Don't talk like that ok?"

_Do anything but don't say that._

"Then why do they occur every fucking night? A different scenario but always the same ending?" He sighed heavily, a frown crossing his features. "Shit like this just makes you think, nothing really is forever is it?"

I opened my mouth but no sound came out and a lump lodged itself in my throat. A sudden wave of nausea hit me, my insides felt like they were tying themselves into a knot. I was really hoping he was punking me right now, that this was a joke. But I already knew it wasn't and this was one of my biggest fears.

Johnny dying.

He was there when I started the gang, I was just a saucy 14 year old with a smart mouth and he's been there through it all. He's always been by my side. Even the time where Jyunichi stabbed him and he almost died had me scared shitless. All I could think was that he would end up like everyone else that I came too late for.

Dead.

I couldn't…I _can't_ go through that again, that suffocating pain. Watching the people closest to you die in front of your eyes.

"You're not gonna fucking die Johnny."

I said it with an empty conviction, my anger had flown out the window. Normally I was forceful when I told people things I believed, I'd make them see it my way whether they wanted to or not. But now…its not working.

It won't work.

My eyes were itching and I had turned away from him until I felt the palm of his hand wiping at my cheek. "So…you do have feelings after all." He said it with a dry chuckle, "I've never seen you shed a tear before."

I hadn't fully registered that I was crying…its not like I was bawling or anything either. All I could do was just stand there stupidly and stare at the ground with the tears obscuring my vision. They just came on their own. This is the one thing I can't stand about emotions. The vulnerability of it all, the weakness of it all. It all felt so fucking _pathetic_.

The one thing in my life I swore I'd never be.

Yet, this was happening and he wasn't mocking me. He wasn't making me feel lesser than.

"Come on let's go inside, I'll get you some tissues."

I nodded mutely and let him lead the way into the house, I damn near bumped into his back because I was still looking at the ground. I forced myself to glance up and stop sniveling like a little bitch, and looked over the living room of his place. Ultra-modern mingled with classic. Never knew Johnny had such good tastes.

He had disappeared around the corridor tossing his jacket onto the sofa along the way, while I just stood in the kitchen like a lost sheep.

I wanted to ask him for another beer, something strong to get rid of the 'low' I was feeling. But its not like the booze would help. It would only make things worse.

He materialized back in the kitchen, pushing a wad of tissues into my hands. I looked at them, (I had already stopped the waterworks) then back at him and I glared. But the glare must've been pretty damn weak because he laughed at me.

He wiped my face again with a snicker, "Honestly, Drea'…sometimes I wonder where the hell you'd be without me."

I stiffened. The statement was lighthearted, but too heavy in its literalism. Then those feelings came right back full force and I literally felt the blood drain out my face. Dread. Anxiety. Paranoia. It all came back in a rush that all but sapped the air right out my lungs. I felt like I was gonna heave.

I guess Johnny read my unspoken distress because now he was close to me. Really close to me. He was now towering over me, the differences in our height more apparent than ever considering he's 6 feet tall and I'm 5'4. He said nothing, and instead pulled me into him and wrapped his strong arms around me tight. His muscular torso was so nice and warm, and the only thing I found myself doing was listening to the sound of his heartbeat.

He just held me.

I had never gave much thought to when I saw young couples doing this all the time, but it made sense now. It felt…safe. Secure. Assuring.

I only dared to look up at him, I felt like I might start up with the tears again like a wuss. Instead I caught myself staring into his eyes. I caught myself staring into the depths of his soul.

I didn't need to explain how I was feeling, neither did he, it didn't need to be spoken. We've shared the same pain before and maybe this is what we had been needing for the longest.

Just this one moment to let it all go.

We had this staring contest for what felt like forever but like some kind of magnetism, we finally bridged the gap. His lips caught mine and I had stopped thinking. The moment I starting kissing back, I was functioning solely on instinct. I was thriving on these feelings he was giving me. It was ardent, urgent, and yet painful.

Like saying goodbye to someone for one last time.

Yet it felt good. These tingles, the goose bumps on my skin, these feelings he was giving me. It felt good enough that I wanted more. I didn't want to stop.

I fed off this high, these emotions, and I chose to let it happen.

To let my skirt hit the floor and yank his shirt over his head and toss it somewhere. To allow my top to go flying right along with it leaving me in nothing but these heels and my thong.

I allowed him to explore me; his hands, strong and calloused, to roam my body to his heart's content. For him to slip my panties right down my hips while I fumbled with the belt on his jeans. For us to hastily stumble upstairs to the bedroom, leaving a trail of clothing behind, now stark nude and fully aroused.

To let him inside me, again and again and again. The rest of the night. The entire night. For the sounds of us gasping and moaning to ring off the walls, for the feeling of us sweating against each other, our heated bodies being tangled up in the sheets together.

I allowed it all.

There was nothing complicated about it really. There wasn't a need for titles right here and now. Boss and Lieutenant. Friends. Lovers? Best friends. Fuck buddies? None of that.

We simply _were_.

We allowed ourselves to just be for that stitch in time. Be each other's comfort. Be each other's relief. To remind each other we weren't as alone as we felt we were. To simply be just these things and nothing else, no titles, no complex explanations or justifications.

To simply _be_.

Somewhere during the night, I was contemplating these things long after our activities had ceased. Johnny was sound asleep beside me, and I nestled against his shoulder, watching the steady rise and fall of his chest. I was drowsy, my body felt weightless and my head felt like air.

It was peaceful.

My eyelids fluttered shut, heavy and refusing to stay open any longer. The rhythmic pattern of his breathing lulled me straight to sleep with him. For once in my life I didn't feel guilty. For just this one time I could say this proudly, I could go somewhere and scream it if I wanted to. All from just this one night, with him.

_I have no regrets._

* * *

Well there you go. I tried hard to keep the Boss and Johnny in character, hopefully this wasn't too mushy or gag worthy to anybody. But anyhow, review and tell me what you think please?


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